Wednesday, November 02, 2011

I am the definition of fun

Main Street Soda Grill, Vermilion, Ohio

This is what I tell myself. AND very clearly sense from those around me.

Any ordinary person would make the drive from Cleveland to Chicago the same ol' same ol' way they always do -- the Turnpike, with it's generic views and sterile (except for the filthy ones) oases.

But me, I'm an explorer. I saw more of of Ohio in my 2.5 years there than 90% of the natives see in a lifetime, from Zanesville to Steubenville, Marietta to Mansfield, Wapakoneta to Warren. So when I had the opportunity to finally see the Lake Erie coast between Cleveland and Toledo, I grabbed that bull by both horns.

Well, not so much. I didn't get to go the whole route, because even the most patient of traveling companions have their limits. But we did take a two-hour detour to see a 20-mile stretch from Avon Lake to Vermilion.

We saw pretty lakefront and big houses, out-of-place mid-rise apartment buildings and run-down ranch houses AND the quaint little town of Vermilion, which boasts a genuine olden-tymes diner.

And all along the way, I provided humorous commentary and composed copy for award-winning commercial spots advertising any of the many pizza and rib joints we passed on the road. It seems a strange combo to me, but I imagine an ad going like this:
Mom: What's everybody want for dinner?
Sally: I want pizza!
Bobby: I want ribs!
Sally: Pizza!
Bobby: Ribs!
Dad: Simmer down, you two!
Mom: You can both have what you want!
Sally/Bobby: Huuuuuuuhhhhh?
Dad: This is still America, and we're taking you to Geppetto's Pizza & Ribs!
Sally/Bobby: Yaaaayyyyy!
Mom: Thank you, Geppetto's Pizza & Ribs, for bringing much-needed harmony to this stressed out family!
See? One hundred percent fun!

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