Thursday, June 17, 2010

Opportunity lost

So I didn't talk to anyone (not even Bloggy) about this one in detail because I feel like I always jinx it by doing so. But that callback on Saturday was for a national SAG spot for a well-known brewer of beer. Right up my alley, right?

And they called Monday to put me on "right of first refusal," which is ... well, who knows? There are so many designations -- "check avail," "hold," "first refusal." It's never exactly clear where they rank relative to each other or if even they are indeed different things.

But it seemed pretty big. And I could really, really use a big, sweet, high-paying job like that. It would also help toward qualifying me for SAG healthcare next year. So I shut up about it and tried not to think about it. (Like I resisted mentally buying an iPad, the iPhone 4, and various other goodies.)

Unfortunately, none of that worked, as the wardrobe fitting date passed on Wednesday without word. I wonder how many people they had on hold? They called back about 10 of us from the original, I don't know, 15? I think "first refusal" or "on hold" sometimes just means you're one of five or six.

Then this afternoon I get a call from an intern at the agency asking if I was available this weekend for a shoot with this client. Um ... you mean as an extra or for the principal role I auditioned for? She didn't know and had to check (interns -- urgh!) and that's when my agent got on the line and told me, yes, I'd been released, but now they're seeing if I want to do extra work.

I said no. I actually had a trip out of town booked this weekend, during the originally proposed shoot dates, to go back to DC and see my Dad for Father's Day and his birthday. I didn't put that down as a conflict and I myself was sort of conflicted all week. I'd feel terrible canceling the trip if I got the job, but I don't think I'd have any choice. You can't dismiss an opportunity like this. (You can dismiss it for extra work, but not principal scale.)

In fact, I figured the fact that getting the job would cause a good deal of mental distress and guilt meant for sure I would get it. No such luck.

So at least I can still do my duty to family, and save myself the guilt of being derelict in that duty. Yay, me.

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