Plus they said real tears would be helpful, though not necessary.
I gave it -- well, I'd like to say I gave it the ol' college try, but it was more like a middle school try. I know I'm supposed to loosen up and let this stuff go, but this is exactly the kind of thing I'm least comfortable doing. Big, broad, over-the-top, dramatic.
To further ensure I'd never have to do it again, I wore the unlucky shirt. Mission: unaccomplished.