It's been weeks since I've checked the twice-weekly audition listings, which I did religiously for more than five years.
And it doesn't feel that weird, either. I've taken a couple of good vacations. I've had a lot less stress. Gotten some work done. Work, to varying degrees of success, on relationships.
Most of all, though, whether coincident or not, I've had an absolutely unbelievable year for commercial work. With tomorrow's industrial booking I will have already doubled last year's income, which itself was double my average income over five years.
Again, there's no way to tell whether all this would have happened anyway. But I think the extra focus, the extra energy to devote, the lack of conflicts (theater conflicts have occasionally cost me a couple of thousand dollars here and there over the past few years), and, I don't know, just the general send-the-energy-out-into-the-universe-and-see-what-comes-back kinda thing. (Without putting too Oprahesque a point on it.)
And I'm really feeling good lately. I still have my audition fuck-ups, but for the most part I feel very much on top of my game. It's not quite the same satisfaction you get from theater, but there's definitely something there. The honing of the craft, the hard work. And pleasing clients and directors and others I find is just as rewarding -- in some ways, more so -- as audience applause.
So here's to good decisions. If I wasn't doing this well with the commercial work (knock wood), it would have been a very, very different year.