Dating in the Facebook Era

I've only been on the Facebook since sometime last fall, and I've only been de-coupled since around mid-May. So I'd never had the experience of dating anyone I was connected to via social networking. (The old gf refused to join -- she had no interest in her old acquaintances seeing, as she would often remind me, the wholly unsatisfactory state of her life, career, relationships, etc. That was always a shot in the arm.)

Anyway, a couple of months ago I dated a woman who happened to be a Facebook friend. She's also involved in the arts, so we have a bit of an overlapping social circle. When I changed my relationship status to "single" we suddenly began communicating online. (Which is a nice thing about Facebook, actually -- it does make some things easier.)

One thing led to another and we went out a few times. It was fun for a while and then suddenly it stopped for no really clear reason, as sometimes happens in real life. Unlike real life, however, in which we would, at most, occasionally run into each other at social events, on Facebook we were still "friends." So we both continued to be privy to the everyday details of each others' lives. What we were doing and who we were doing it with, etc., etc. A total mindfuck.

I sure thought it was odd. Maybe I was the only one. But in any case it occurred to me after a few weeks to simply de-friend her. Which I did. Problem solved. I have no idea what the etiquette in such a situation is, but in the decade or so in which I've been online I've generally tried to pattern my Internet behavior after my IRL behavior. Not everyone does that (see Internet bullies, trolls, etc.), but it's been my general operating procedure and so that's why I de-friended her. I mean, really, do people just go on being "in" each others' lives just because they're connected online? Weird.

On the flip side, I met someone a few weeks ago and we started going out. We were not, and still are not, Facebook friends. Maybe we will be at some point (probably after we break up!), but right now I think I'd like to just get to know her the old-fashioned way. She doesn't need to know my 38 favorite movies right off the bat and I don't necessarily need to "meet" all of her friends and family just yet.

We're gonna just make like the Eagles, and take it easy.