From Uncle Rob to Uncle Sam

This morning's industrial shoot was grueling. Two two-year olds, with me as Dad. Fortunately I only had to wrangle one at a time. They cast a pair in case one completely flaked out. As it happens, both (eventually) got their groove on so it was basically double the work -- trying to capture all the shots with each of them.

But it was tough starting out. In the holding area they were completely outgoing and cheerful and one even called my Uncle Rob right off the bat, which is something I haven't heard from a toddler in a long, long time. But once in the studio it was tough going. Getting them in front of the camera -- hell, just getting them out of their parents' arms.

I know it's hugely stressful for the parents. I've seen it in auditions where a (probably) otherwise well-behaved kid just doesn't fucking feel like performing that day and has a fit, and there's not much you can do about it.

But I felt just as much responsibility, if not more, for getting the kids to loosen up. It's funny they barely mentioned I'd be working with kids. Not in the audition at all -- just more of a quick afterthought-like note after I was booked. What if I was completely shitty with kids? All they asked was, "Are you okay holding a two-year-old?"

Well, that's a far, far cry from getting a two-year-old almost instantly comfortable with a complete stranger picking him up and carrying him around for several hours. And getting the two-year-old to cooperate on multiple takes involving a variety of moves and expressions and props. Suffice to say, lots of chocolate was involved. And lots of me down on my hands and knees, doing tricks, playing with the toys, etc., etc. And lots of quick breaks, because each could only do a few takes before squirming out of my arms.

But overall successful. No major meltdowns. And both sets of parents got their fee for the gig. Let me tell you, kids are freakin' heavy, especially when you're toting them around in one arm for several hours.

I gotta say, I dislike kids in the abstract. Kids in general, kids I don't know. Kids who fuss and make noise in public and aren't seen but not heard. But when I actually spend time with them -- kids of friends and on jobs, etc. -- they almost always turn out pretty cool.

Later on was an audition where I played a different uncle. Uncle Sam. I thought I was going in as the husband, but when I read it closer on the way in I realized my mistake. Not that I had a red, white and blue suit waiting in my closet anyway.

But that was fun. I had some fun ad libs -- "Mmm, chicken quesadilla -- I want YOU" -- but they had me play it straight.

I am exhausted -- partly from the baby wrangling, but also because I got up at 5:45. And tomorrow morning, back on in for another audition, this time in the role of "Electrical Engineer."