I came upon a hundred dollars cash tonight. It was unexpected, unearned and, if I was a better man, would have been unaccepted.
But I took it. I mean, it's not like I had to degrade myself or anything. Nothing illegal, nothing in an alley, nothing on my knees. Just ... I don't know. Not quite right. On the other hand, accepting it was, in a way, a proper consequence for the person so recklessly doling it out. So, yes, I took it.
Then, standing at the bus, I was hit up by a homeless guy asking for "two dollars." I don't usually give anything to the homeless, on the pretense that my charitable donations are more safely expended and efficiently used by established, legitimate charitable organizations. Not that I give a ton to them, either.
Anyway, the perfect ending to this story is me handing that homeless guy my unearned 100-dollar bill. But that's not what happened. I gave him the one single I had. A single dollar bill. Which is a dollar more than I normally give. A dollar less than he asked for. Maybe or maybe not a dollar more than he deserved. Maybe or maybe not 99 less than I could afford.
I don't know. Times are tough. And, in spite of all this, I actually do find myself giving more than I've ever given -- to theaters, to charities, to sick friends. I guess I kind of feel like, I understand exactly how tough things are. And maybe helping others out will make some other peoples' lives a little easier and, who knows, bring some needed karma.
But I probably should have given him the five he spotted and asked for. But I didn't. I did not.
1 comments:
I generally don't give anything to panhandlers, because I know that statistically, 80-90% of them are drug addicts, and will just use the resulting cash to score their next hit.
When I lived in the city, I often gave out meal vouchers that are available from local homeless charities to give to panhandlers instead of cash. More often than not, I got sworn at and had the voucher thrown back at me. So obviously, they coudn't have been that hungry for food. But sometimes they were very grateful to receive this, more so than $$.
I totally get the pay-it-forward thing in today's world, too.
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