- Casting for spring production ... looking for men, women and children -- whoa. Who said to never act with children or animals? Besides, it's Children's Theater. Not that there's anything wrong with that it's a completely legitimate and respectable form. It's just not for me. Or more, the stories and characters I find are not for me. And it's not because of the restraining order, I swear.
- Seeking college-aged characters -- they would probably look at me and say I'm too old to pull this off. I can't deal that kind of close-mindedness.
- Four unpaid roles ... Three males 20s-30s, one female 20s-30s -- another easy one. UNPAID? How dare they?
- Montana Shakespeare in the Parks auditions for summer -- I've heard very, very good things about this program. But I can't go to Montana for the summer. Wish I could. On the other hand, I don't usually audition for classical stuff -- I think I look too contempo.
- Seeking non-union performers (actors, dancers, puppeteers, etc.) to create and perform an abstract play of dynamics in space and time for our upcoming festival of object-based theater. The fact that I don't know what half of this means probably means I'm unsuited for it. Actually, I've done some movement stuff before and rather enjoyed it once I loosened my ass up. So if nothing else it was a great experience from a personal growth/therapeutic standpoint. But there are SO many people so much better at this than I. And more into it. Plus puppets kinda scare me.
- Auditions for THE FANTASTICKS ... dinner-theatre -- oh wow. My singing is exceeded in mediocrity only by my dancing. And no one wants to watch me act while they eat.
- Open auditions in Edison Park -- oh, sorry. I don't have car. Yes, I know some suburbs are closer than some far north side locations, and I can always get a ride from castmates, but ... I've never been one to rely on the kindness of strangers. Or friends for that matter.
- Auditions in North Riverside -- nix!
- This one has everything. Location: Janesville, WI. Show: GUYS AND DOLLS. Requirements: Be prepared to dance. Unless I'm dancing to "Hey Ya" or "Jenny 867-5309," it ain't gonna happen.
- Another trifecta: dinner theatre ... Milwaukee ... role is for a male who can play 50 (will consider younger actors if you feel you can be aged with makeup) -- Me? 50? I'm afraid there's not enough makeup to pull that off. *cough*
- Music Theatre (nope) ... seeking ethnically diverse singer/actors (I could pull off singer/dancer sooner than I could pass for ethnically diverse) ... prepare two songs and bring sheet music in the proper key -- no fake books (what in hell is a 'fake book?') Doesn't matter -- I don't even have a real book. And unless they're ready to hear "Ring of Fire" and the Rolling Stones' "Dead Flowers," both in the key of "low," I don't think I'm the one for them.
- Auditions in Palatine -- nuh-uh.
- Actress, age forty-five and up, needed to play supporting role -- supporting role? Sorry, no. The rest is fine.
- Open Call Auditions, Golf Road, Des Plaines -- what is with all the suburban offerings? My minimal carbon footprint won't permit it.
That was easy!
2 comments:
Edison Park isn't a suburb. It's a very lovely neighborhood on Chicago's northwest side, accessible via the Blue Line. Just FYI.
Oh, I know, I've been to Edison Park and it's nice, but waaay too far without a car, esp being on the blue line. I won't even do shows in Evanston or Oak Park.
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