Saturday, March 29, 2008

Bringing the pain

Last night was a good night. I really thought hard about my character and where he's coming from, thinking again about the whole "feel it, don't just say it" thing. 

Up to now I've been playing him mostly angry. He's just been fired, and on top of that learns over the course of the play that he'll likely be indicted and face jail time, too. All with a wife at home who's pregnant with triplets. Oh, I guess I should have said *SPOILERS*.

So anyway, I've been working to add more texture, bringing in more hurt, sadness and desperation. And tonight, in my big monologue, especially, I think I really got there. I really "felt" it. 

To get there I did a little "method"-type stuff, which is so cliche, of course. But I thought back to the incident last year with me alone and barfing on the floor and going to the hospital, which I so eloquently recounted in The Callback show. I even re-listened to the podcast on my iPod before the show. 

It all sounds ridiculously self-indulgent. Listening to yourself getting choked up recounting a terrible story in order to prepare yourself to feel the way this show's character should. But it worked for me.

I hope it turned out well. I was talking afterwards in the bar with people from the show and it wasn't clear that they saw any difference -- they said I was doing just great before. So we'll see. The Trib was there, which is kinda big. It will be totally embarrassing if they call me out for being histrionic or melodramatic or something. Serves me right for messing with stuff after rehearsals are through.

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