Monday, January 14, 2008

Olio

Wow, it had been almost four weeks without a commercial audition -- probably the longest I've gone in three years. Then I got two today, and another tomorrow. So that's better.

Printing of the new headshots continues to be delayed, due mainly to things only I would notice and that it seems only I care about and that make me feel like a total pain in the ass. But they'll come ... soon enough, I suppose.

Every few weeks it seems I wake up around 4 or 5 in the morning and after 10 or 15 minutes it becomes clear that I am up for the day and nothing I do will get me back to sleep. That is the time that all the chickens come home to roost in my brain. Fears, regrets, insecurities, pain. It's all there, and for whatever reason, it's always worst at that hour. That whole "darkest before the dawn" thing. And it makes me think, is this an exaggeration, brought on by the night? Or is this the reality, and my relative daytime happiness is the delusion?

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