... who did not come to The Callback tonight.
Honestly, it was the best thing I ever did. Both from a performance standpoint and a writing standpoint.
I couldn't possibly be happier. I knew the writing was excellent. We worked the fuck out of it, and I went through 12 drafts. But after Monday, my biggest concern was whether my performance would live up to the script.
The term "home run" wouldn't do it justice. It was freaky. It's a very, very, very personal piece. At some points in the development process I worried I wouldn't be able to keep it together on stage. At others, I worried I wouldn't get there at all emotionally. It came in right in the sweet spot.
And I actually lost it in places I never expected. I talked about everything -- my greatest fears and insecurities, old girlfriends ... "biological stuff." I cannot imagine what my family will think when they hear it. That scares the shit out of me. But I didn't hold back, and I'm proud of that. It was 98% truthful, with just a few smoothings of the edges of actual reality to fit the story.
I LOVE my friends, old and new. Frankie, an f'ing Emmy-winning writer who compared me to David Sedaris and said I should publish. Ashley, an old client who had no idea about this side of my life, but who said she always felt I was too good to just be doing marketing brochures for law firms. Cyn and Matthew, who I haven't seen in forever and who were, unfortunately, witness to the beginning of this story in real life. Barb, who was also there at the beginning, and going through the exact same thing -- both of us just broken up in the aftermath of 9/11 and dealing with it at C&M's wedding.
And, most especially, Kathy and Duey who, more than anyone still in my life regularly today, have been such ardent supporters of my work. Having them there -- witnesses to this bizarre journey -- helped keep me honest.
When it was over, I was so damned self-conscious I immediately skulked to my seat without really properly acknowledging the audience's applause, which was loud and sustained and heartfelt. That is my sole regret. But it was entirely apropos to the content.
I will post the link to the podcast when it becomes available.