I came out of a commercial audition today kicking myself because I totally blew it. It's been a long time since I felt that way. I blame myself most of all, however I will apportion parts of the blame to two others. To the agency who in the breakdown described the character, a TV anchorman, as having "no personality." None? Really? That gives you a lot to work with. The lines were clearly written like he was a Will Ferrellesque anchor man character, but they said "no personality." Which I took to mean, either minimalize the comedy, or they don't know what they're talking about, and mean instead, "bad" personality or "pompous" personality. Turns out it was the latter.
My second excuse is that they usually have the lines up for you to read but in this case didn't, and I didn't have them completely down. But in both cases, I should have been prepared for the unexpected. A big part of what they look for is the ability to roll with it. And I was definitely not rolling this morning. I kept flubbing the words and generally felt like I was encased in jello.
I'm still really exhausted from this weekend. I've had little opportunity to relax and catch up and I think I've minimimalized here and to myself how stressful it was. Dad almost can't do anything other than the very basic familiar everyday patterns, and he can't form sentences. And it's clear at times he doesn't know who we are (sometimes he asks).
On a good note, I did this reading last night that went well. It's for a new play that's under development and prepping for a January run. We rehearsed once, Monday night. Not only hadn't I read the play, I hadn't even read the scene. And I told the director I wouldn't be able to until the day of the performance. So I was feeling pretty neglectful and behind. But yesterday I read and studied and practiced and by last night I was able to bring a lot to the short scene I did. And the director and playwright were happy and the audience was appreciative, so that was cool. It felt good to be up there, doing well and bringing value to the process and the people behind it.
I might just take a 4-hour nap now.